A little action means a lot. I am really touched. These little things can make my day, touched my hearts and surprise me. Thank u agnes for your message. Thanks wq (goh) for ya card.
Just came back from the briefing. There was actually quite a lot of pple of all ages. Cuz some taking the PGDE mostly is Dip like me. At first felt quite alone, cuz i dun know anyone. Then everybody came pretty early so we were all stoning outside the Edutorium. Then we went to the auditorium for the briefing. After the presentation, they went through the forms with us. So many to fill up lolx. And i nv bring pen! So had to ask ard for one so pai seh luckily the girls behind me lent me one. Then they had to call us one by one onstage to check stuff so we waited for our turn. Then i dun know why but i took the initiative to talk to the girl beside me. Okie this was not the first time that i had initiated conversations. haha. Everytime i also like that. When working also like that. Cuz i think its good to make new frens at least got someone u can rely on in a completely new environment. And she was just after me so qiao. 1st impression was good. Then i waited for her and we left the buiding after exchanging our contacts.Yeah so far i see the peeps not so bad. Looking forward to sch reopening.
Somethings to be done:
1) Go optician to get my eyes checked and get new pair of glasss if required.
2)Book appointment for my medical check up.
3)Go take photo to make card on mon.
4)Get new shoes and bags and clothes for school.
Suddenly i'm busy again....
"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."
1:36 pm
あしたは MOE Building へ いきます。とおいですね。
After that then i will be able to have a better idea of what is going to happen next. I know orientation is from 26 July onwards. Hope it will be interesting. Btw just went to rebond my hair again for easy management.
Yup when school starts can meet up with the NTU peeps :)
Of course still can meet up with the rest la :P
I'm glad i'm feeling better............
"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."
3:04 pm
She's gone to her new home. Somewhere peaceful and free of sufferings. She is happy and we all can feel that. It hadnt been and easy week for all of us. But we united as a family and will always support one another. Thanks to those who came, thanks to those who wished. I thought i would break yesterday, but i did not. Yes, i cried when she was moving towards the fire, but i did not break. The tears were because i miss her, unlike the tears at the hospital, were of those of pain. I don't think many understood what we are going through, but i know some do, because they had gone through the same thing before, and i really admire their courage to move on. I should learn from them. Hadnt rest for a long time, all of us are tired. Couldnt slp the previous night and chatted with my cousin till 4am. Realise we hadnt had such heart-to-heart talk in a long time. But it felt good.
Just woke up not long ago. 1st normal day without her.Felt weird not hearing her voice. Hearing her call the maid or my grandpa. Could not get use to her not lying on her bed. Just felt that something isnt right. Perhaps it really takes time. It is difficult for us cuz we've been living tgt,in tampines,in simei,in sengkang for 20 years. Every part, every inch, every corner of my house has her traces. So many things can jolt the memories in me. The pictures are kept preciously somewhere. Some still in my computer. Saw her orbituary yesterday in the straits times, kept a copy for myself. Her things are still in my brother's room. Will pack them up soon.
We miss her very much. But i know she will always live within our hearts........
When will the wound heal.....................
"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."
3:17 pm
We are all doing what we can....We are all putting on brave fronts...We know there's nothing we could do but pray.
When we see her suffering, our hearts also feel the pain. When we see her struggling, we are also fighting to control our tears. She is still responsive...barely. She smiled when i told her i am going to nie and be a teacher, assured her that as the eldest, i will take care of the rest of the family.Especially my dad and grandpa. I know she feels w0rried abt them the most. She feels safe when she hear us chant. She wants to speak but we can only see her lips tremble. She is in pain, she is frighten and she does not want to leave.......My eyes are sooo dry and painful, yet everytime i go in and see her i will cry. All of us will. One start and the rest follow....cuz it hurts, it hurts so bad....
Death is such a frightening thing. Until now, all those fucking poems about losing someone are just a bunch of craps. You will not understand how it feels to lose a loved one until u have experience it yourself. I feel that my heart has been ripped. I feel that some one is slicing it up slowly.We all feel the same way.
I dun wan her to go. I dun wan. I want to see her sit in her fav chair watching tv. I wan to see her call us to help her scratch her back. I wan to see her argue with my grandpa. I wan to hear her call my name. Our names. I want to see her pick up the phone and chat with relatives and frens. I want to see her eyes sparkle when she eats her fav food. She cant even see us now. She cant even open her eyes and there's a bloody tube inserted into her lungs.
I dun want to accept the fact. Yet i dun wana see her suffering now. I know it takes time for the wound to heal.. i know we all know...there's no hope..but we are still hoping for one....
"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."
11:21 pm
Slpt until noon due to watching of soccer this morning. Was woken up by my sis who suddenly said that granny was in critical condition and dad asked us to go to the hospital immediately. The 4 of us quickly called cab and rushed to hospital. My dad had also alerted the rest of our immediate family members. When we reached, she had already been sent to ICU....Since the situation was really not looking well, the doc had asked all the family members to be present. It was really depressing.......I hate the ICU. My dad had been there the last time, and i dun wish to remember the dreaded feeling. Of uncertainty and worry. Lotsa pple were there waiting for their relatives too. So we all took turns to go see her. It's so sad i cant even describe.........
So we stayed in hospital the entire day. Upon hearing the news, my aunt and uncle are gg to fly from Melbourne immediately, arriving here tml evening. As for me, i'm so glad i did not go the outing today. I dun know why, but it's not becuz that ys did not go that i didnt turn up. But it was because i kept feeling weird and unwilling to go. My dad also said he felt something was not right this morning. Indeed something bad happened. haiz. I hope everything will turn out well. All of us are chanting and praying for her. My uncle is staying overnight to jaa-ga.
*awaiting for a miracle*
"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."
11:29 pm
Lolx Holland just scored 2 goals against Ivory Coast. But the match is still gg on. It aint over yet. :)
Ending theme song of 'Attack No.1' sang by Aya Ueto.
"Yume No chikara". The original MV is under=> VIDEOS. *loves* :)
"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."
12:28 am
Good Updates: Went gym today w wn yeah!!! Gotta continue my plan!!! Oh and i did extremely well for my Jap Test. hee. 8/10 for oral cuz i knew i fumbled a little and 93/100 for the main paper!!! Hooray!!!!Banzai!~
Not so good news: Grandma was supposed to be discharged yesterday. But she suddenly had high fever and so had to stay a few more days at the hospital. She was stonning and cuz of the fever was very drowsy. Kept mistaking all of us, like she tot i was my uncle :s
Talking about the hospital i was so angry. Not only me but my whole family. Cuz when granny was sent in, there wasnt any available beds, so she had to stay in C class ward. But it was a horrible place. I was really appalled. There were so much noise and the nurses were all so indifferent. They even forgot to give my grand ma breakfast and forgot to give her her medicine!!! This is serious. She is a cardiac patient. Medication is a matter of life and death to this kind of patients how can they be so careless and ignorant!! So angry. Plus there was a mentally ill patient beside my grandma who kept muttering to herself, like being possessed. She was talking those nonsense and kept staring at my grandma who got a fright. The doctors even had to sedate the mentally ill old woman to keep her quiet. haiz. Luckily we managed to get the transfer done and yesterday evening she was transferred to B2. And the service is way much better.
Today after gym met up w my siblings and cousin then go hospital again. Granny looks better fever had subsided but still very weak.
Tml suppose to have NPCC gathering at Sentosa, but i'm not really in the mood to go. Oh and just gotten my A levels cert, lolx, might as well burn it :)
Rebonding my hair raishuu no getsuyoobi !!!
"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."
8:55 pm
It was suppose to be a happy occasion yesterday. But things turned out unexpected. My aunt came and cooked a feast for all of us. Then my cousin,sis and i went sing a kbox. After that she stayed over and we watched World Cup. These few days, my bro and my tang di stayed up all night to watch World Cup. They didnt slp until like 7am everyday. But yesterday at ard 2.30am i was about to go to bed when my sis came and told me that something was wrong with my grandma. So i woke my dad and we sent her to the A&E at Changi. It was my first time following them to the A&E in wee hours so i was pretty nervous plus my grandma was really panting and gasping for air, and my dad really sped all the way. Since only 2 pple can enter our maid and i waited outside. Waiting and waiting. Then my aunt came too. So we all waited until abt 6am. They confirmed that she had to be admitted and so my parents did all the paperwork. Then dad sent us home while my aunt stayed there. Back home nobody slpt. In the end i woke up at 3pm today.
No tuition today cuz the family last min told me got something on. So i can rest at home.
I had always been close to you, but it seems to me that we are drifting further and further apart. I thought you understood me the most, but it seems to me that you would rather spend time having fun with others then to catch up...is it me.. is it you...or is it becuz of the difference in our lifestyles??
Tonight's World Cup is Japan Vs Australia. Must watch.
"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."
6:13 pm
Was so nervous about the testo yesterday! haha. Luckily sensei did some revision with us as well. But the oral part was really nerve-wrecking. It went well until the second question where i had to read the time from the clock. I think i was too nervous that i fumbled and said the wrong time. Then sensei gave me the Are-You-sure look. It's not that i dun know but i was too nervous! In the end i manage to get it right then the rest was quite all right. The written paper was much much easier then i had expected, so i was pretty confident about it. haha. Results will be out on mon and sensei will email us our score.
Wana take EL-2, but now not sure of schedule, so must wait a while first.
Fan Fan has released her new album!!!!! Yeah!~~
Attack No. 1 rocks!!!! It's on volleyball, but it's nice. haha.
"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."
10:13 am
Changed layout!!! :)
There was something wrong with the tagboard so had to change the whole skin.
Hadn't blog for a week was to lazy to do so haha. Still getting use to having a maid around the house. It definitely helps cuz there's someone to look after grandma and share the household chores. Am learning Bahasa Indonesia on my own too to facilitate communication.
The interview on Mon was alright now just waiting for letter.
Went for Jap lesson just now, my dad sent me and got lost in orchard. Yes that's right we really got lost. Lolx. Cuz he hadn't been there for a long time and did not know where my school was. So made many wrong turns before finally dropping me opp Delfi Orchard. Luckily i made it on time. The final test is next week!! Benkyooo surundesu!!!!!!!! Jia you!
Ashitawa eegani itokoto mirundesu. X-men!!
Want to watch Pirates 2 as well as The Lake House! :)
Oh added Dancing Diva MV cuz i L-O-V-E the dance......
"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."
10:39 pm
