Today was feeling so so much better after talking it out and getting it off my chest. Credits also goes to esther who made me feel more assured and more aware of what i should be doing. Another reason why i felt that way yesterday was because it was only my 2nd day and perhaps i was expecting a lot from myself and whatever class that i will be given. Plus my mentor didnt have time to explain things to me in detail so i was having a lot of insecurities. It's pretty daunting to take a class of 40! But after some self-reflection, i sorted out my thinking. I am hoping to see this as an opportunity for me to learn and gain experience. Shall not think so much about the assessment. I had a long chat with my mentor this afternoon to get to know her and the pple better. I must say i am really very lucky to have her because she is very experienced and she is willing to help me in any way possible. It's nice to have her assurance and after knowing the plans for the next few weeks and stuff i really felt a lot better. If not i would still be feeling lost. And today she allowed me to help facilitate the class so i get to interact with a few of them, ( though most of them are happy just waiting for answers hmm).. but ya the more i try the better i will get so i guess its good to start early. Cuz actually we got certain timings for doing stuff, but my mentor is very flexible :) And i went for my first staff meeting today!! Haha so cool~ Many activities are coming up so will be super busy for them. But we can try and help them here and there. Haha and my mentor so nice she invited me go sentosa with the class!! It's a fieldtrip and gg underwater world too haha and i pay 2 bucks yayness haha just that it will be a long day but i dun mind :)
Even though only been attached for 3 days, but i really learnt a lot and i really get to see all the efforts that everyone puts in to enhance the place and give the best to the children. It's really a tough job, but definitely a fulfilling and meaningful one...so i will also perserve in this long long journey of mine :)
Well my attachment started yesterday. It was pretty interesting and fun and we learnt many things, we also have our own desks! yay! So bought some stuff to put there so that dun have to bring everyday. And the best part is the distance as it is near my place and so more convenient to go there :)
For 1st 2 weeks we are suppose to just have observation and see how lessons are being conducted in our allocated class and also some other classes.Since my in charge was not ard yesterday i sat in another class. This morning i also had to go a different class before finally getting to meet my in charge. I mean i already knew that the class i was attached to is quite weak and i'm very very grateful to my in charge for telling me and informing me all these. But when i really went into the class and observe, i was really overwhelmed. Not the fact that there were weak and problematic children, but i kept thinking abt how am i gg to handle them because they are so so different from the other classes. And by right we are not suppose to be given such classes for our first time. I have totally no experience at all! And i worry because we will be assessed on our management skills! I mean i dun mind having such a class, but as i continue to watched their behaviour, it is really really quite tough. Then i began to have many questions and i started to think how am i gg to conduct a lesson proper with them. I had intended to try out many interesting ideas with them, but seeing that they may be difficult to handle, my plans are wasted. I feel that i have no confidence in handling them. And frankly speaking i feel very much unjust.Why is it some pple can have a more well-behaved class while i have to be given such a difficult task? Not that i dun want, in fact i am happy to have it as i feel that i can impart more stuff to them and i sincerely want to help them improve. I think i will derive more satisfaction in helping these weaker ones. But then i have to worry about how i will be assessed and stuff to determine how well i do for this attachment. Then if u are gd and pple cooperate then of cuz u will get gd report. But if i tried my best and pple just dun cooperate, it will definitely affect my results. So i cant help but feel unfair.
I guess all these thoughts are too ovewhelming for me, so when i went back, i was pretty stoned. Then i had to vent it out, so i approached mrslim to tell her about my concerns and worries. Later on even my in charge came and we had a conference tgt to work out the situation. I mean i admit i was pretty emotional, but i cant help it because i wana do well for this. After talking it out with them and having their support and assurance i was much better. But now i am afraid that they may think that i am weak and cannot handle stress. Hai but i dun think so la, they are very experienced and understanding. Hai its only the 2nd day and i'm stressed out by myself and my own expectations. It's really not an easy path. But now after straightening out my thoughts, i am gg to give myself a chance to try and make it work. I will and i belive i can. This is actually a blessing for me, to get exposure to such a situation. Life is full of ups and downs, nothing can be smooth sailing. With experience comes knowledge and in the future i will know how to handle them compared to others who may become panicky like how i felt initially.
Where should i start? These past few days have been so hectic. Everything clashed and am totally exhausted. The happy ones and the sad ones....
MASS DANCE (SAT)
Woke up super early to go for the rehearsal at zk's. Took bus from tiong baru stnt and then went to gather at the club tgt with all the other participants. Haha. It was super empty~ Cuz it's in the morning mah and they booked the place already. So cool~ haha hardly get to see the place so empty lol. Yup so we totally occupied the dance floor and had our practices with the trainers. Since it was the 2nd time that i went i sorta forgot the steps but luckily they were quite simple and so most of us managed to picked up the steps again.
Then we had to go out into the hot hot sun to rehearse! We were all fried under the sun!!! And not once but like i think 4 times we had to do the whole thing!!~ Luckily they provided us with water! But the funniest thing was that ys wore black when the dress code is white and i think she felt the worst! hee minah u become bbq monkey le :) Though it was tiring, but i think we all enjoyed ourselves totally!! Plus its for a good cause so i think its worth all our effort!!
After that went with minah to submit her application forms and then i had to rush back for 4/2 bbq in the evening!
It has been dunno how many years since we organised one. By we i mean the girls. lol. It's always us lo haha but this time mr manfred suggested and offered help, so we helped out again. Yay! A reunion finally!!!! Must really thank all those that went to buy the stuff, Cla, Fui,Jolene, Manfred and also whoever that brought stuff and definitely those that turned up!!! And not forgetting Mao who came back from Aussie!! haha. Just when we thought that only a few will turn up the other guys came!!~ And we couldnt even recognise them! Everyone changed !!! haha. Totally enjoyed myself and so happy to be able to catch up with all of them!~ Looking back it's like wah....we're so old liao hahaha....
Nice food, superb company!! Chilling session after that was great too :)
I love gatherings and reunions!! Hope to have more in the near future :)
Exactly 1 year ago, my paternal ah mah, who had been living with me since i was young, left us. 1 year later and we still miss her badly. Oh how time flies, but memories will never be erased.
Woke up this morning and was prepared to set out with my family to visit her when i received the sudden news that my maternal wai po passed away this morning. That explains why i did not see my mum at all even until now. I was more worried for her and feeling confused by the sudden news. So dad fetched us to visit ah mah first then later on we will be heading down to my uncle's.
Those who are living with ur grandparents, u are a fortunate lot.Cherish them.
"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."
4:08 pm
A BEAUTIFUL SONG
When You're Gone - Avril Lavigne
I always needed time on my own I never thought I'd need you there when I cried And the days feel like years when I'm alone And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away I count the steps that you take Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone The pieces of my heart are missing you When you're gone The face I came to know is missing too When you're gone All the words I need to hear to always get me through the day And make it OK I miss you
I've never felt this way before Everything that I do Reminds me of you And the clothes you left they lie on the floor And they smell just like you I love the things that you do
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone The pieces of my heart are missing you When you're gone The face I came to know is missing too And when you're gone The words I need to hear to always get me through the day And make it OK I miss you
We were made for each other Out here forever I know we were Yeah Yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know Everything I do I give my heart and soul I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me Yeah
When you're gone The pieces of my heart are missing you When you're gone The face I came to know is missing too When you're gone The words I need to hear will always get me through the day And make it OK I miss you
The 2 day kayaking course is over and i survived! Haha yay got my 1 * cert! So happy! It was not very tough to learn but it is physically draining and really need to practise and practise. I was surprised that there were so much to learn about this sport cuz the typical thought is that it is just paddling so how hard can it be? Wrong! haha there are lots to be learnt!! :) Just a summary of the 2 days.
DAY 1 SAT
Woke up early and met up with cla to go to our destination. Haha. We signed our attendances and put our stuff in the lockers and waited for it to start. Came to know this sec4 gal JW who joined alone and we felt that she was quite brave haha. Then there were a bunch of 13 yr olds from a sch who came with their teachers and some volunteers. We were all in the same class!! haha. So cla and i were like one of the older ones ard, plus 3 young teachers from the sch. Oh and there was this aunty who accompanied her 2 children to join!!! Bao dao wei lao!! Very courageous indeed as she is in her late 40s!
Anyways, we learnt a lot of things and it was interesting to see the kids trying to perform what we were told. The boys are really naughty lor...very restless haha my god i think i have to get use to such situations too cuz i will prob be facing it very often in the future! But it’s quite dangerous lah cuz it’s a risky activity and they should listen to instructions and not be so playful. There was this boy who kept playing 'bumper car' when we were in the waters by bumping his friends. And i was hit by him a few times too, so I was quite piss and warned him as firmly as could and then he stopped finally.
Oh yah the reason for it being physically draining was because of the movingof our kayaks and paddles. We as big jie jies have to help the others carry theirs as most of them were very small size and the kayaks were heavy!! Another reason was that it was not easy trying to navigate in the waters. The paddle is also pretty heavy and so paddling the whole day is really tiring. Besides the weather was super bad!!! It rained the whole day and we were drenched the entire day!! Walked to gm food centre to have lunch in the afternoon and also walked back in the rain after that. I dun mind being in the rain but it's the wind that is making it worse. It was freezing cold!! It has been a long time since I got so drenched, dirty and muddy. Actually it was kindda cool and reminded me of my np days. It was a day that I feel very in touch with the more ‘outdoor’ side of me. I was just worried about falling ill as this coming week is crucial for me cuz got impt meeting.
Well the best part of the course on day 1 was doing the capsizing drill!!! So cool!! haha i think all of us kindda got nervous when we were told about it. I was the 2nd person!! Each of us got to practice it with the help of the instructor and the 2nd time we had to do it ourselves. Pretty nerve-wrecking for the 1st time cuz had to overcome our fears of getting stuck and being flipped underwater. But after the 1st try it was much better. Interesting! Well after it ended, went to have dinner at gm again and also went to walk around the place. Food there is great!!! Cla and i bought the shoes for water sports too cuz we will get to use them often! Haha :)
DAY 2
It was much more fun on the second day cuz we spent most of our time in the waters!! yay! haha. Really very fun! First we all learnt and tried the rescue thingy and it was not easy!!! But me cla and jw were a team and we were very fast haha so we did like 2 times each!! And then went to help the other teams. We also got the chanceto paddle further out too and the weather was good! The best part was when we got to go all the way till under the Benjamin Shears Bridge which was about 1km from where we started. It was pretty intense due to the strong wind and current! If we were not careful we could be washed out to sea. A lot of strength is required to row and control the kayak, so it’s really challenging for us. But it was worth the effort because the feeling of drifting in the middle of the river and feeling the rush of the waves and wind is indeed thrilling! Saw people on the duck tours and also the residents living in the beautiful apartments waved at us lol. The view that we saw along the way is indeed spectacular! The river is like the road, with so many activities going on at the same time too! There were the db pple, pple from other ky teams and our group haha. And sometimes we will collide with one another or will have to give way to others lol.
Yay so most of us passed! We are thinking of gg for 2* level, but before that must practise on our own. And it will prob be during the next hols or what since we are busy with sch stuff for now. Haha but at least I feel that I have learnt a new sport, new hobby and new skill. Made new friends, experienced new things and the best part is to have gone through it with a close friend. :)
Met up with the gals for a nice dinner and chill out session, which is also suppose to be a mini celebration for fui's and cla's birthday! Haha met up with renee to 'complete' the surprise presents and than had a great dinner at Spageddies Marina Sq. Good food and company what more can i say :)
After that took cab to clark quay. It was super crowded and everywhere was packed packed packed!~ In the end we went Asylum Lounge bar as there were seats available and softer music to allow us to hold proper conversations without shouting or straining our ears. It was a nice get together :)
haha okie took many pixs as usual...lol...wana keep more memories mah and create newer 'classic' photos lol....
Went singing with ShiHui and Hui Er on Tue!! ~ Our first outing together :) It was fun lor lol taken so many zilian pixs *dotz* Must practise 'Shilian Pai' ! :) Too bad i had to leave early, but hope can go out again next time.
My sleeping habits have been really bad these days. My timings are all wrong liao. Almost everyday slp at ard 4plus and wake up at 5pm :S Then the cycle continues. Haiz. Then didnt slp for one whole day cuz woke up at 5pm then watched Mysteries until 4am. Couldnt get to sleep. All the way until morning then i got ready to go for dance meeting in sch. Haiz. Met up with michelle but when we got there we realised that we were the only two not involved in the performance who were present!!~ Many didnt come today!! So i changed for nothing cuz i thought we may get to dance something. Ya so watched them practised. The dance is very very nice!! And can see its quite difficult!!! Especially the partner-segments, the 3 girls were being tossed over and over again lol. But the choreography is really fantastic. Just that i am disappointed by how certain people executed the moves, because i believe that practice sessions are very impt. You can goof ard and have fun but when doing the moves you must treat it seriously and not 'eat snake'. I hate to see pple execute moves that are 'uncleaned'. Meaning not decisive and firm and perhaps not correct. Hmm i do hope that they can change their attitude in this as all of us wana make the event a success.
Thanks Mazel for pei-ing me shop ard JP today!~ Cuz i need to find my stuff! haha. Oh and had lunch with eunice cuz she is working there muahahaha. Then met my cousin,sis and mum back at Compass pt to shop as well. Cant believe that 1 day nv slp i still so jing shen. *Dotz*
Haha ya now tired le....shall go zzzz....the next few days will be packed as usual.............
Well updated my playlist, just some of my fav songs to share :)
Would You Be There -Redwan Ali
If I were blue, would you be there for me, And whisper in my ears that’s okay. Would you stand by me, Let me hold you tight, And say you love me one more time
If I feel good, would you slow dance with me, And touch my lips with tender love and care. Would you die for me, Would you run with me, And never look back.
Would you be there to love, to be with me ? Would you swear that your love is always true ? Would you say that you’ll always be the one, to take my breath away ?
Would you be there to love, to be with me ? Would you swear that your love is always true ? Would you say that you’ll always be the one, to take my breath away ?
怎么会开始对你有了感觉 又生怕朋友默契转身不见 矛盾着犹豫不决 没准备跨越爱的界限 怎么会开始对你有了感觉 深陷朋友恋人之间的危险 你和我拥抱瞬间 不后悔 这暧昧 尽管唯美 把爱放心里面 wo oh wo oh wo oh 把爱放心里面 wo 把爱放心里面 wo oh wo oh 把爱放心里面 wo~~~
我想我很适合当一个歌颂者 青春在风中飘着 你知道 就算大雨绕这座城市颠倒 我会给你怀抱 受不了 看见你背影来到 写下我 度秒如年那爱的离骚 就算这个世界被寂寞放掉 我也不会奔跑 熬不了 最后谁也都苍老 写下我 时间和青春交错的城堡 da da da da da da da da da da da da da da
"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."
6:33 pm
Haha today an old friend came my house. Sorry for making you travel all the way, cuz i'm not feeling well these days and we need to rush the stuff. :)
Anyways was browsing through some old photos yesterday as well as today and we could not help at laugh at ourselves last time!! My goodness, we all looked so toot and studious!! Haha. Cant believe how much all of us have changed!! I flipped through my albums and discs (yes i burn them all into discs haha), and it's funny to see the silly things that we did last time. Memories....
I'm so happy, because the show that i have been waiting for is actually repeating again on Tv!!It was a show that i watched when i was 2 years old!!!! I remembered it vividly because it comprises of short stories on mysteries and i love mysteries and horror and hence loved this drama! It's 迷离夜 Part 1 and now it's airing on Channel 8 every thu 1.30-3.30am, showing 2 episodes per day! I did record it down due to the unearthly timing that it was shown. Just wished they will run these old shows at a better timeslot. The first story shown was the classic and creepiest one, starring Zhu Le Ling and Huang Yu qing. It's about the butterflies! I remember this story the best cuz it's really scary when i watched it last time haha. As i was watching it, it really brought back many memories and also the realisation that how much things and places have changed since then. The aquarium scene at wisma, raffles place and etc have really changed a lot!~
I love watching old dramas as i feel that they have better and more varied storylines, especially venturing into mysteries and horror rather than always watching family-oriented ones which gets boring as the plots are so predictable. Yay-ness~ I hope they will show Part 2 after that too. And many other oldies!!! :)
Been going out for consecutive days!~ Shopping and walking and eating and singing~
Out with Bimbo Eunice, Aminah and dear Cla these days. Eunice and i went to the warehouse sale and we felt cheated. Cuz there were really not much stuff available and they were in super lousy conditions and i think worse than those flea market stuff. And we had walked all the way there and stayed less than 30 mins in that place lol. Next, met up with YS and so we trio shopped around. Finally used my vouchers and bought my Adidas jacket!!! A green one! We were like trying and trying all types including men's and finally decided on this !! Haha. Eunice go buy lah wear the same hahahaha. The colour may seem dull at first but once i put it on it looked quite good!!~ Same goes for the other girls! I guess it really depends on the person wearing it isnt it? :p
Next went to MOF again (sinful) and we ate such delicious jap food and dessert !! YS's friend (Giselle?) came and joined us too and i think we had a good time :) After that went back to vivo with Eunice to collect her jeans wahaha.
Some things we observed: Many restaurants and high-end shops employed many foreigners as waitress/waiter or sales person. Not that i mind or anything but i certainly hope the company that hired them does a good check on each of their credibility and ensure that they are well-trained. Cuz the lady that served eunice was obviously a green-horn because she had said her jeans dun need alteration when it had already reached the ground with her heels on. Humph. Luckily i often alter my pants and so i know the appropriate length she should wear. Dotz.
Haha then today went to sing Ktv with Cla! First time! haha Today the song selections were really appropriate man *winks* But it was fun and i had a great time! Looking forward to the 'Dressy Night' for the celebration by the bay :)
No matter how busy our lives are, we will always be able to find time for outings. This is why i always cherish each and every moment spent with my dear friends :)
