I am a snail...

I'm so slow....

Finally completed [1/4] of my assignments. Didnt realise that it is not easy to do on topic 5. And it took my quite some time because had to do a lot of readings, organised my thoughts and finally pen them down. Arghh too slow, have to speed up.

3 more to complete by the end of the week, really gotta pia because all the deadlines are on next mon-wed!!!! Very very scared for science ! Jia lat.

I'm shocked. Speechless. Heartbroken.

I dunno what to say or do...

Was doing my essay halfway when i chanced upon it. Actually it was deliberate. But i wasnt prepared to see what i had discovered. Totally no mood to continue my work.

Every word and picture pierced through my heart. I really could not believe it. How come you could do such a thing? Are these really your real thoughts? Do you really feel this way? So much hatred and indignant towards us?

Perhaps i should really have been more concern about you. The fact that i didnt was because i trust that you two are old enough and should be sensible enought to know what is right and wrong. You do not need another person to nag. Is it because we gave you all too much freedom that resulted in this? That you misunderstood as neglecting you and your feelings? Do you know that you are so much more fortunate than many others out there? I thought you knew. And that is why i am so shocked by what i have seen.

Maybe it was partly our fault. I forgot that this is the age and time when you need the most support from us. We took it for granted that you will understand and since you seldom share your stuff, we assume everything was all fine. Even though i had long suspected something, with the late and secretive calls at night etc. (I know because i have been through this stage), but i dare not ask because i thought it might be awkward for you. To me, i still feel that you are a child. Now i know that i should change this mentality. Another reason is perhaps we have been too focused on him. Because it's an important period for him. Maybe that is why.

But you should also understand that all of us have problems. We are all facing a lot of stress. The reason why sometimes we restrict you or do certain things is because we want to save money or for your well being. Maybe we expected too much from you. Because you are different from me. I have always been very independent since young. From studies to non-academic stuff, always independent. Perhaps they thought you were like me, they used the way they brought me up on you. But they didnt realise that you and i are DIFFERENT.

We have always believed that you are a very independent and bright person. Sometimes the way we communicate or say things are different or may sound weird, but that doesnt mean we don't care. They are not in good health, already stressed over work, so if somethings that you can do on your own, just do it. Don't see it as a sign that they don't care or what.

I am not trying to judge you or what. All i hope for is that if you get to read this post, that you know by doing all those things you did, you are not only hurting yourself,but the people who love you as well. I just hope you can try and look from our point of view and stop doing those things. If you have anything to say, you can just tell us or let us know. Don't bottle up all your feelings. Or can just let the blockhead know as well since you go to the same school and maybe you feel more comfortable talking to him about it. I'm sure he will help you if we cant.

I am still in a dilemma as to whether to let them know or not, because i do not want them to get hurt. Right now my mind is in a blur and i cannot concentrate on my work. All i know is that i am a lousy sister. And yes my heart is hurting...

Out of curiosity, i took the test that kl and wanni took. Boy was i in for a shock. Yellow is what is true, white are my responses. :)

At this time you are feeling 'uptight' and you are urgently in need of rest and relaxation; (yes definitely with all the assignments and tasks to be done in only 1 short week!!) but perhaps even more than that you need to overcome that feeling that you have been 'hard done by' and treated with a complete lack of consideration. Maybe you have, but whatever may have been the cause of your inherent anxiety, you regard the situation as intolerable. Your are, however, sufficiently competent to turn that situation around - you have overcome similar problems in the past, and really this one isn't too different. (not quite sure about this)

You are a true extrovert, frivolous and outgoing. (Sure?) You need to feel in control of any situation. (Meaning project and work, yes. Depends on the situation actually.)If matters are not proceeding according to plan you tend to get extremely irritable and perhaps become difficult to live with.

You lack confidence and that is a great pity because deep down you are indeed a warm caring person. This lack of confidence is making you wary of being drawn into any open discussion or conflict and so you feel as if you should let matters lie and leave well alone. But there may be a pleasant surprise in store for you. You are beginning to grow and very soon - sooner than you believed possible - this warm loving new you will be available for all to see and to appreciate.

For whatever the reason, you find it extremely difficult to sustain relationships - that is to sustain them in the manner that you would wish. You are a very gentle sort of person, full of feeling, sensitivity and susceptible to love and affection, looking and longing for a partner with whom you can enjoy 'All things bright and beautiful' - someone with whom you can seek out the more esoteric things of life. But up to now this person has only existed in your imagination. You are very choosy, appreciative, refined and extremely artistic in temperament and it is your hope to seek others who will allow you to form and express your own taste and judgement and who at the same time may assist you in your intellectual or artistic growth. (Agree. Sometimes too idealistic, watched too much drama and listened to too much stories from friends. Yes i like intelligent pple who can stimulate me mentally, yet not boring. True, i love surprises;endings, plots, stories etc and i dun like to be the same as most pple.)

You are inclined to be too trusting and you feel that you need to be on your guard against the possibility that your endeavours and actions may be misunderstood. (I am VERY trusting. Because relationships build on trust isnt it? ) Too often you have been taken advantage of and you have been mentally abused. Now you are seeking a relationship which can provide peace of mind, where you can be yourself and not have the need to put on a false front. (haha i hope not. If any one has done this or still doing this to me, pls stop now lolx. )

Scary is'nt it. Some quite true... :)

Everyone has been falling sick. Is it the weather, work or studies? Yesterday i had very bad cramps, but had to endure and take the math test. Didnt go for practice which was quite sad because i missed a good session and show *winks*

Just some quick updates.

My sister's spare hp is spoilt. One of the buttons came off but it is still usable. And yes i am using a spoilt phone. You know some things are just so coincidental. On the way home yesterday with ama, we were talking about the claims and i thought we cannot use it for hp and music players. But in actual fact we can!! Sk had done it and so had others whom i just found out about yesterday. And then it so happened that the button came off the hp that i am using! Ahhh...is this a sign or what for me to get a new one...cuz right now it's diffcult to use this and i kept sending the wrong msgs to pple. Problem is i have not seen any nice phones out on the market and those i want are not out yet. The good thing is that i can use the money to buy my new phone haha so i dun mind waiting for a little longer yay~

So there goes my plan in getting the new ipod Classic and Nano. Maybe i'll wait too. Must plan my finances properly. I think as one grows older and has an income, one will realise that it is super hard to utilise the money properly,as well as saving it. So i am trying my best.

Recess week is starting in a few days time, but i am not really looking forward to it. So many things to be done, plans to be set and time to be delegated and arranged. These couple of weeks will be super tough. I have 4 assignments to be handed up on the first 2 days when sch reopen! And i have not started yet because NO TIME! May have to reschedule or cancel some plans. *sadz* Think i will start asap so that i can finish all 4 by the end of next week. I will be in hyper mode so guess will have to sacrifice my sleep again because i work better at night.

To all my course mates: GO ALL THE WAY! JIAYOU EVERYONE!
After this period, things will get better. This sem is really terrible man. So much assignments, essays,research,groupwork. It's tough. But hey we have endured so much, even during the hellish 5 -week attachment, 什么大风大浪没见过,一定可以熬过这段日子的!

其实，我认为自己在进入这个行业的期间真的真的学习到了很多东西，也清楚地见证了自己的成长。不管是在工作，课业或处事待人方面， 都有逐渐进步。我也接触和参与许多从未尝试过的东西与事项，也看到，听到和亲身体验到在这现实社会中的种种矛盾与问题。听着同事， 朋友与老师们分享他们的经验，大家互相鼓励和讨论，每每都会有新的领悟。或许，从失败中成长，就是这么一回事。失败，让我看到人生的另一面，认识并接触了各式各样的人和事物，更加珍惜拥有的东西，并且激发了我的斗志。当时的失败，让我选择了这条艰辛的工作道路。好多时候很想放弃， 但一想道这将会牵连许多人，也会浪费了给自己的机会，就打消了这愚蠢的念头。当然好胜心也在作祟。我想证明自己的本事，证明自己是行的。所以，我一直都再接再厉，或许有时太过严肃，但是我宁可无趣，也不要拿我的成绩与事业来开玩笑。所谓，要得到一些东西，就必须付出另外一些东西。

我很高兴，没有后悔当初的选择, 因为它让我找到了人生的目标。

加油吧 朋友们! :)

大出血的一天~

This morning went for consultation. So happy that we got a good grade for that assignment!! Elly we are 最佳拍档！haha. Then went shopping with ys! yay~ Suppose to go look for my dance pants but cant seemed to find nice and fitting ones. Ended up walking around and then buying other stuff. lolx. But okie lah since i haven been out shopping for a lOng lOng time. Went to take passport size photo for my driving and also to update lah. The last time i took, i remember it was last year and when i still had rebonded hair! Yah, that was how long ago. lolx.

Yupz so bought some stuff that i really wanted. Cuz seems like i have been wearing same stuff to school everyday. And also planning my finances now that i'm taking up driving lessons etc. So lotsa stuff to do at home.

Will be bz from next week onwards cuz there are 3-4 assignments to be due straight away after recess week!!! So may need to reschedule some plans. haix.

It's weird. you seemed distanced today. Not like you use to be for the past few weeks. Problem is why am i affected? Cuz i think i treat you as a friend. But then it's weird cuz we clicked and yet dun clicked at the same time. Will we still be friends once this module is over??

Hmm and i see You in a different light today. Used to think You are such a him-bo. And i think you still are, but i see that you are very serious and involved in the presentation today.Plus points for attitude i guess. haha. Got charisma lol. So i was pretty impressed.

Are u the one? :)

Yesterday was the best session we ever had. Thanks to the instuctor. Finally, some discipline was in place. Time to get serious pple, it's not all about the lame and meaningless jokes and the fake-it attitudes that some are showing. As usual T was giving out negative vibes and kept on complaining as usual. Hello u cannot take it then Q-U-I-T~ It's not even a challenging routine. And stop affecting others. Such a no-brainer.

Anyways, damn shiok. Carol was fantastic *idols* haha YS came too haha to crash the session~ Yippee. After sending mich home went to Tamp to haf simple zi char with her and my dad. Yay! Finally get to eat my cereal prawns!!! :) :) hehe Come again next session lah i think not bad to continue if it stays this way!!

Also been watching this show so far has been not bad. It's interesting because filming was done in the desert and the cast is great. Love period dramas :)

Ocean's Bay Trip finally up~ :)

Labels: Travels

Pixs~ :)

Labels: Sweet Memories

I love 《转角*遇到爱》!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I bought the series cuz i cannot wait for so long every week just to watch 2 epds at a time!! I know it's not a new show but i remb when it came out i was not free to watch any dramas. But now that i have some spare time i finally can '追' the show. LOVE IT TO BITS!~
I want to find my 秦朗(Alan) haha he is so sweet and hilarious~
Love the songs in the show too! Especially the theme, 《爱的勇气》 by Megan Lai, very catchy and meaningful :) :)

Labels: Good Shows/Dramas

oooo yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Finally finish recording the podcast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's super not easy!!! Had to think of the script, scenario and teaching point!! Then have to search for sounds and add effects and editing....oh my god!!!!!!!!!!! In the end i finished at 7am this morning. Yup. AGAIN. Luckily no school today so i can still sleep until 4pm. Rather satisfied with my work, ( of course lah record more than 20 times okie, until throat's a little sore!) But i realised the challenge is not in the recording, but rather in the editing part!

Well on a happier note, going out with gal and ys later tonight. Yay must give myself a break after all the hard work that i have put in hehe.

Jas i think you are absolutely right, my luck has started to get better already hahaha i'm sure you will too!

The very first good thing that has happened is that i finally found someone to go to the concert with me.That is -Natalie!
*weeeee*

And of course being able to go out with the gals tonight. Haven seen them for a long time haha.